Move-in day has come and gone. You’ve brought your student to TCU as they make it their new home. Perhaps this is your first student in college and you live hours away. Maybe it’s your last student to send to college and you now have an empty nest. Regardless of this being your first or fifth student in college, it’s a transition for everyone in the family. It’s joyful, a little sad, exciting, nerve-racking… there are so many words to describe it! Take a moment to acknowledge those emotions and read a little advice and perspective from members of our Parent & Family Council and their current student.
Describe the emotions you were experiencing as you said goodbye after move-in day:
Scott & Robin: Saying goodbye to our daughter, on the steps of her dormitory, knowing we were flying home the next morning, was something I’ll never forget. It may sound scary or awful, and yes we had a few tears as we walked to our car, but we both agreed they were tears of happiness and joy. It was celebrating a new chapter in our child’s life and that’s exciting. Yes, we’d miss her, but our excitement for her was far greater than our feeling of sadness or fear.
Kennedy: I distinctly remember hugging my parent’s goodbye and watching them turn and walk away. I just stood there for a moment and then turned and walked back into my dorm. It was such a strange feeling–suddenly knowing I’d be over 2,000 miles away from my family. I was filled with a mix of emotions–excitement to start this new adventure, then a moment of sadness for what I was leaving behind, a few nerves for the unknown to come, and then back to excitement. Everything I’d wanted for so long was finally here. And as I thought back to watching my parents walk away, I was filled with gratitude for them daring to let me dream.
What were you nervous about and how did you manage those nerves?
Scott & Robin: I think any time you see your children head off to a new stage of their life there are apt to be nerves, concerns and reservations. The distance was an obvious one for us since we would not be able to jump in the car and be able to arrive on campus in a few hours. I think any parent is also nervous about their child becoming terribly homesick and hearing those concerns and not knowing what might be the best thing to do.
We dealt with those nerves the best we know how and that’s through trust and faith. In order to allow your kids to grow, we believe you have to let go a lot of the time and trust things will work out. Now, with all of that said, we did a lot of work to secure connections of people we knew that could be a resource for our daughter if something came up and she had an immediate need that we couldn’t fulfill with the distance apart.
How did your relationship change/adapt in this new setting?
Scott & Robin: Our relationship with Kennedy changed from more of a role of caregiver to advisor. When your children are living at home, it’s natural to make more decisions on their behalf. Our relationship adapted to us providing advice, when requested (okay, sometimes when it wasn’t requested either) instead of just doing the easy thing and simply taking care of things.
Kennedy: I’ve really enjoyed watching my relationship with my parents morph and mature as I’ve gotten older and continued on in my college experience. 17-year-old Kennedy would hate to admit it, but my parents were right about a lot of things. As far as staying connected with my parents goes while at school, I tend to call my mom up whenever I feel like bothering her. My Dad has less free hours in his day, so I’ll call or text him as he’s available. One of my favorite ways to stay in touch with my family though is to spam them with random pictures or voice memos about my time in Texas.
What advice do you have for incoming students and families as they make their way to TCU?
Scott & Robin: Trust the natural process of starting that new chapter in your lives. For families, I believe it is important to embrace the start of a new chapter in your life’s book. Give yourself the permission to be fearful of the unknown, to be apprehensive and a bit nervous, but to also allow yourselves to experience the excitement, the newness and the gift of a “next chapter”. Another piece of advice for families and incoming students is to use the vast amounts of resources TCU offers for their student body. We had no idea how much help can be found on campus and I would have even a much greater peace of mind had I fully understood TCU’s resources two years ago as we sent our daughter to Texas.
Scott and Robin Bigham are the parents of a TCU student, Kennedy Bigham. Scott and Robin are both native Oregonians currently residing in the state’s capitol city of Salem. They have two grown children, Kennedy, who is in her third year at TCU, and Ashlyn, who will be attending Montana State University this fall.
Kennedy was born and raised in Salem, Oregon, but now spends about 90% of her year in Texas. As a junior at TCU, Kennedy is a member of the John V. Roach Honors College and studies Religion with a minor in Classical Studies. She enjoys being involved in a variety of leadership positions both on campus and in the Fort Worth community, a few of which are: Doxology Bible Church’s Encounter College Leadership Team, Big Brothers Big Sisters of Tarrant County, being a Teaching Assistant for the Religion Department and publishing her own writing.